It seems as though one of the things technology has swiftly replaced is our ability to communicate properly (see Man Vs Machine Part 1 and Part 2), and now it seems it has almost successfully reduced the English language into a pile of vowelish rubble. Internet acronyms are widely used to convey emotions and regularly-used social phrases. Sure, it’s innocent enough in concept, but it’s gone way too far. You can’t visit a chat room, text someone, or get an email that doesn’t feature several lols or wtfs. Unfrickinbelievable.

So in my never-ending quest for truth and justice, I endeavored to do something revolutionary. Yes, I wrote an entire paragraph consisting entirely of internet acronyms attempting to see if they can possibly replace our everyday words. Is this what our once-magnificent language has been reduced to? Out of the utter and sheer goodness of my New York heart, I’ve even included punctuation to make it easier to read. Something tells me that won’t help, though.

Acronym: LMFAO! IAC, ICUR IBC. IITYWTMWYKM? JK! BAIK. HHO1/2K! TM, TTBOMK, YSS. SHM! BTW, CSY. DUCWIM?

Translation: Laughing my f*cking ass off! In any case, I see you are inadequate but cute. If I tell you what this means, will you kiss me? Just kidding! Boy, am I confused. Ha ha, only half kidding! Trust me, to the best of my knowledge, you suck severely. Sh*t happens, man! By the way, can’t stop yawning. Do you see what I mean?

This is truly a tragic day, my friends, because this is what our magnificent language has been reduced to. And, yes, these are examples of real-life internet acronyms that are used every day (see here). Anyone else sick of lols replacing the language we once knew and loved? As always, any comments, catcalls and booyas in my general direction are muchly appreciated.

Tags: Annoying people, Education, Etiquette, Internet acronyms, Irritating people, People, Social, Social Interaction, Technology, Texting

Technology is awesome and all, but it makes me see bright, fiery red when people replace any social interaction with technology. Dude. Texting is awesome if you’ve got something quick to say, but honestly, how can you not realize that it will never replace in-person interaction or even a phone conversation? God. They’re just empty words. Yes, words have personality and feeling too – But nowhere close to real one-on-one. It seems as though texting, email, Blackberry messenger and Facebook have conveniently made the population at large forget that there’s a real world out there – REAL people, REAL interaction!

I’m the first to admit that technology is awesome and definitely has its uses, but it’s replacing our lives! Remember that scene in Wall-E where all the human beings are upwards of 400 pounds, get rolled around in motorized wheelchairs, are attended to by freaky looking robots and whose vocabulary range borders that of a four-year old? That’s where we’re headed! Look, I’ll shut up now (finally), but do us all (and yourselves) a favor – Leave the cell at home. Go out. Have fun with some real people. Get completely wasted at 5 in the morning and pee on the street corner of a busy street while laughing hysterically….and then tell me that Facebook is more fun. God. Who’s with me?

PS. Yes, I do realize that I’m not making my case any stronger by encouraging people to respond online. Well, smartass, I’m only making an exception here because the last thing I need right now is my poor blackberry ringing off the hook with my disgruntled readers calling me dirty names, questioning the legitimacy of my conception and generally calling me a hypocrite. So, my lovely readers (yes, yes, I do really love you), do what you do best: Comment!

Tags: Email, Etiquette, Facebook, Social, Technology, Texting

…Well, maybe not. All of this has gotten me thinking (if you smell smoke, call the Feds). All of this supposedly remarkable technology is slowly but surely robbing us humans of what’s most valuable to us – Our minds. We can’t remember phone numbers, appointments, holidays or even simple directions any longer without using our trusty phones or doing a quick internet search. Our spelling is going down the tubes, because, hey, Word’s got a built-in spell check, and our handwriting (what’s that?) – well, with email and electronic bill payments, who the hell needs to write anymore? I’m actually rather surprised the ink manufacturers haven’t gone bankrupt, one by one. Here, my friends, is where The Machines begin to get smarter than we are, and that will be a sad, sad day for us all.

So, come on, think about it – I’m the first to admit technology is a beautiful thing, but am I the only one out there who thinks its beginning to get a bit….too wonderful? I’m just waiting with bated breath to know what you all think, and, yes, as always, death threats, booing and little dead fishes in my mailbox are always welcome.

Tags: Blackberry, Email, Geek, Sci Fi, Social Interaction, Texting