It seems as though one of the things technology has swiftly replaced is our ability to communicate properly (see Man Vs Machine Part 1 and Part 2), and now it seems it has almost successfully reduced the English language into a pile of vowelish rubble. Internet acronyms are widely used to convey emotions and regularly-used social phrases. Sure, it’s innocent enough in concept, but it’s gone way too far. You can’t visit a chat room, text someone, or get an email that doesn’t feature several lols or wtfs. Unfrickinbelievable.

So in my never-ending quest for truth and justice, I endeavored to do something revolutionary. Yes, I wrote an entire paragraph consisting entirely of internet acronyms attempting to see if they can possibly replace our everyday words. Is this what our once-magnificent language has been reduced to? Out of the utter and sheer goodness of my New York heart, I’ve even included punctuation to make it easier to read. Something tells me that won’t help, though.

Acronym: LMFAO! IAC, ICUR IBC. IITYWTMWYKM? JK! BAIK. HHO1/2K! TM, TTBOMK, YSS. SHM! BTW, CSY. DUCWIM?

Translation: Laughing my f*cking ass off! In any case, I see you are inadequate but cute. If I tell you what this means, will you kiss me? Just kidding! Boy, am I confused. Ha ha, only half kidding! Trust me, to the best of my knowledge, you suck severely. Sh*t happens, man! By the way, can’t stop yawning. Do you see what I mean?

This is truly a tragic day, my friends, because this is what our magnificent language has been reduced to. And, yes, these are examples of real-life internet acronyms that are used every day (see here). Anyone else sick of lols replacing the language we once knew and loved? As always, any comments, catcalls and booyas in my general direction are muchly appreciated.

Tags: Annoying people, Education, Etiquette, Internet acronyms, Irritating people, People, Social, Social Interaction, Technology, Texting

I can’t tell you how many times I’m walking down a quiet New York City street, drinking in the character of the city and smoking a cigarette, when some guy walking by locks eyes with me out of the blue and just stares. It’s infuriating! How about at your local supermarket? You’re standing in line at the checkout counter, and the eyes of the guy in front of you slowly and calculatedly travel over the microwave dinners and deodorant in your basket before finally coming to rest on you. Grrrr. It’s enough to make me go postal on them with the nearest can of Right Guard.

I’ve been sitting in a corner of a quiet little grease joint enjoying my dinner on several occasions when my reverie has been interrupted by some travelling weirdos outside the restaurant window who inexplicably decide to peruse me….and my steak burrito. Are they hungry or what? WTF. Seriously.

Anyone else out there hate being stared at? Do tell me what you all think. I’ll be waiting right here with bated breath, as per usual.

Tags: Annoying people, Etiquette, Irritating people, People who stare, Social, Social Interaction, Staring

…Well, maybe not. All of this has gotten me thinking (if you smell smoke, call the Feds). All of this supposedly remarkable technology is slowly but surely robbing us humans of what’s most valuable to us – Our minds. We can’t remember phone numbers, appointments, holidays or even simple directions any longer without using our trusty phones or doing a quick internet search. Our spelling is going down the tubes, because, hey, Word’s got a built-in spell check, and our handwriting (what’s that?) – well, with email and electronic bill payments, who the hell needs to write anymore? I’m actually rather surprised the ink manufacturers haven’t gone bankrupt, one by one. Here, my friends, is where The Machines begin to get smarter than we are, and that will be a sad, sad day for us all.

So, come on, think about it – I’m the first to admit technology is a beautiful thing, but am I the only one out there who thinks its beginning to get a bit….too wonderful? I’m just waiting with bated breath to know what you all think, and, yes, as always, death threats, booing and little dead fishes in my mailbox are always welcome.

Tags: Blackberry, Email, Geek, Sci Fi, Social Interaction, Texting