“So, like, I was, like, on the avenue today and there was more traffic than usual, like so much traffic it was, like, annoying me, and I honked at this guy who was in my way, like, I honked twice, and, like, he didn’t even move, but then I found parking, and, like, I was walking up the avenue, and I saw a dress in Macy’s that was, like, so cool, and, you know, I usually like shopping, but it was so busy, and then, like, I got hungry, which is so weird because, like, it was only twelve o’clock, and I never eat lunch until two o’clock, but then my nose, like, started itching which is, like, so weird because, like, my nose never itches and when I scratched it, it felt, like, soooooo good…..”

Okay, being the sweetheart that I am (not), I’ll spare you all the excruciating agony and proceed to shut up now. Seriously, folks, does the above sentence sound familiar to you at all? Do you know anyone who can keep talking (sans punctuation) for four years straight about absolutely nothing without stopping to take a single breath? If you’re anything like me, it’s enough to drive one completely insane. I mean, whatever happened to the long lost art of shutting-the-bleep-up, hmmmm?

Whenever I encounter annoying people at the office (yes, yes, shocker, I do work for a living) who just can’t seem to keep their yapper shut on the phone, I’ve been known to actually put the phone down in mid-conversation, walk away, then pick up the phone occasionally and mutter sporadic uh-huhs into the receiver just to see how long they’ll keep on going.

So, who’s with me? Uh, no, you in the green shirt, yes, you, be a kind soul and sit the hell down. Thanks. Now, anyone else? What do you do with someone who just can’t keep quiet (like the distinguished looking gentleman in the photograph having an extended conversation with a broccoli)? Does it irritate you to no end or do you just let it go? As per usual, I’ll be waiting to hear your assorted pearls of wisdom with bated breath.

Tags: Annoying people, Big mouth, Etiquette, Humor, People, People who talk too much