So you’re sitting comfortably in your bright yellow ‘67 Chevy surrounded by well used Coke cans and a Le Big Mac or three, when the psychedelic flashing of the red, yellow and green lights of the traffic signal looming before you interrupts your internal ecstasy. What to do? Stop? Go? Slow? Speed? All-together-simultaneously, perhaps?
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Archive | Environment
Traffic Light Etiquette For The Hopelessly Clueless
Posted on 01 February 2010.
Posted in Driving, Environment, Etiquette, Food, People, TechnologyComments (3)
Haiti Earthquake Scammers
Posted on 27 January 2010.
What speaks more of the pure evil of humanity than the shriveled cowards who exploit those suffering and dying in the wake of the Haiti earthquake? It’s unspeakable. Think about it. There are people out there who are knowingly and willingly taking potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars that could be saving lives for their own twisted uses. Is it any better than pulling the trigger themselves? I think not. Haiti scammers, you disgust me.
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Posted in Environment, Etiquette, Health, PeopleComments (6)
Freaky Fast Food
Posted on 19 January 2010.
Bad fast food. It’s 10pm, you’re finally heading back home after a treacherous day at the office, and all you want to do is sit back with your favorite Teletubby episodes and grab something delicious for dinner on the way home. With your precious greasy cargo in tow, you plop down on the sofa and gleefully unwrap the neon green plastic wrap. Your slackjawed attention squarely on the screen in front of you, you barely glance at the slop in your hand. You’re rudely awakened from your reverie, however, when you suddenly discover that your “fresh” roast beef on rye suspiciously tastes like four-week old moldy salmon. Gag.
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Posted in Environment, Etiquette, Food, Health, PeopleComments (2)
Garlic Breath: Hazardous to Our Health
Posted on 26 October 2009.
Okay, this one’s for all you garlic addicts out there. Gag. Ahem. Now, in all fairness, I fully understand the health benefits of eating raw garlic. Garlic has been known to have countless health benefits over the years, and honestly, I can’t blame you for that. Well, actually, I can. There is no way to say this eloquently, my friends, so I’ll just go ahead and yell; Garlic breath stinks!
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Posted in Environment, Etiquette, Health, People, SocialComments (3)
Litterbugs, Beware!
Posted on 04 September 2009.
In case you haven’t been able to tell by my never-ending flow of edgy sarcasm, I’m from New York City. Yep, the oh-so-glamorous capital of the world. Glitz, glamour….and grime. It seems as though our illustrious city envied throughout the world has been reduced to streets full of Snickers bar wrappers, discarded condoms and thoroughly used Kleenex.
Posted in Environment, EtiquetteComments (2)
Crap! Curb your Dog!
Posted on 02 September 2009.
So you’re wearing your brand new 200 dollar Hugo Boss shoes for the very first time – It feels like you’re walking on clouds and you’re flying high. Everything is splendid. Until…squish! ”What the hell was that? That sure as hell didn’t feel like clouds to me!”. So, you look down, and your worst nightmares are confirmed – You’ve just stepped in the largest pile of dog dung ever known to man and your beautiful shoes are, alas, no more.
Posted in Environment, EtiquetteComments (1)
Liquid Yellow Streams of Death
Posted on 20 August 2009.
So, it’s no secret that I’m madly in love with New York. Yes, in all its dirty, quirky, rude, rat-infested, cabbie-driven wonder. Just something about the character oozing out of every pore of our beloved city that nowhere else can match. Yeah, even Canada. But even with my undying love for fellow New Yorkers with attitudes, there’s just one thing (okay, okay, maybe a bit more than just one thing) that brings out the Hell’s Kitchen Dr. Jekyll in me….
Posted in Environment, Etiquette, People, SocialComments (3)
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