Bass as a Weapon

Yeah, I admit it – I’m a hopeless music-lover. Without music, I’d be, well, that much insane-er (Grammar Police, welcome to JerkLogic). And listening to my favorite music when I’m pushing 80 miles an hour on the freeway just borders on orgasmic. Well, until the dude in the pimped-out Civic with 36-inch rims and loud bass fills my rearview mirror – Then the fun begins.

Along with the bright blue neon glow underneath the aforementioned Civic, the guy seems to have installed six subwoofers with enough combined power to drown out Yankee Stadium during the World Series. Oh, and they’re turned up to eleven, ala Spinal Tap. Just lovely. Now aside from completely obliterating all hopes of hearing my precious music, said monster loud bass has begun creating a genuine, honest-to-god mini earthquake, shaking windows and small landmarks, causing severe hearing loss, and knocking that sweet eighty-year old woman’s dentures completely loose. And my spleen appears to have completely relocated itself to just under my left knee. What’s up with the crazy noisy music and loud cars, people?

So, my fellow music-lovers, honestly, what gives? There’s no way I can accept that 3000 watts of in-your-face loud bass and noisy music can honestly enhance one’s listening experience in any way, shape or form. Who else is with me on this? What was the most annoying music you’ve ever encountered? Comments, suggestions and snorts are welcomed as always!

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38 comments

  • captainwasabi September 25, 2009

    because bass ROCKS! Pure Energy

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Fred September 25, 2009

    HA. When you get home from your drive do you yell at the kids to get off your lawn too?

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    • Jeff September 25, 2009

      Because only old people don’t like having their organs rearranged against their will, right Fred?
      >.>

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  • moodsteve September 25, 2009

    It’s a circular argument… 1. They turn their bass way up because they probably spent hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on absurdly over-rated amplifiers and drivers (1 Farad capacitors,anyone?) and thus want to reap the reward of their investment. 2. They spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on absurdly over-rated amplifiers and drivers so that they can crank the bass way up.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • protoopus September 25, 2009

    i asked my son (audio engineer) about this and he said that the low-frequency waves can be as long as two feet (peak-to-peak) so there’s not room in the interior of the car for the waves to propogate. (in other words, the driver can’t hear how loud it really is.)

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • chao77 September 25, 2009

    Energy without control is dangerous. and not enjoyable to listen to. Bass is good when it’s in balance with everything else, and even just a little louder than balanced is okay, but when all you can hear is concussion-inducing bass, that’s just pointless

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Bilal September 25, 2009

    I’m one who like music as well, and love bass. I keep it to myself tho, i have 2 12″ subs turned up. I dont like my music earsplittingly loud.

    My theories consist of the following:
    A) They’ve listened to loud music so much, so often, that their ears can withstand the loudness or they’re slightly deaf at low volumes.
    1) Side note, one of my college roommates was like this, he could sleep through volume so loud that we could hear it on the other side of the apartment. God help you if he opened his door jeez.
    B) They’re simply attention whores who want you to see that “Hey look how much money i piss away on my car.
    C) They’re simply douche bags

    All in all i can ignore them, i dont run into many of them around here out near allentown. They’re only annoying after 1am when i’m trying to sleep.

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  • funniness September 25, 2009

    Bass as a weapon: Why do drivers turn their bass up so unbearably loud? #funny http://bit.ly/87xDX

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  • je255j September 25, 2009

    To let the world know their superiority as a potential mate.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • casketcase September 25, 2009

    I read "Bass as a weapon:" and prepared for an awesome link full of aggravated assault with a deadly fish. Sadly it was not.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Abomonog September 25, 2009

    Depends on your speaker setup and the way you set up your car. I’m using a 180 watt system in my car with no external amps or subwoofers. I padded my doors and trunk mounts too. I get clean sound and enough bass to cause the guy blasting the hip hop in the next car to get annoyed at my metal booming out, You need a full range of speakers to get good sound in a car.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • MightyBrouhaha September 25, 2009

    its like a dance party in my car. People always think the worst when I drive up with my music loud, and then they realize i’m dancing and listening to Jesca Hoop. Then they get confused and realize I have it up because I enjoy it and not to be a douche.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • fuckkarma September 25, 2009

    WHA, DID YOU SAY SOMTHIN? BUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITY BUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITY BUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITYBUMPBUMPCITYBUMP

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • corneliusiii September 25, 2009

    To piss me off.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • jon_titor September 25, 2009

    Audible low frequency waves can have wavelengths quite a bit longer than 2 ft… 20hz is generally used as the bottom end for what people can hear, so if we use 340m/s as the speed of sound, we get 340/20 = 17m wavelength for a 20 hz wave. Granted, your car stereo probably can’t produce 20 hz waves, but pretty much any sound system can produce waves that have 2 ft wavelengths (which, if the math I did in my head is correct, would be about 510 hertz, which isn’t low at all. An orchestra tunes to an oboe at 440 hz).

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • mtl_hed September 25, 2009

    mtl_hed slaps casketcase around a bit with a large trout.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • mtl_hed September 25, 2009

    This. Also, the lower the tone, the more omni-directional it is and vice versa when it comes to higher tones. So, if you have a car stereo that is loud, but properly tuned to all frequencies, it will sound bass-heavy outside the car; however, inside the car the treble volume will match the bass.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • linaljohnt September 25, 2009

    [Me to, not enough fish!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9SSOWORzw4)

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • tsoek September 25, 2009

    OONCE OONCE OONCE OONCE OONCE OONCE

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • casketcase September 25, 2009

    *Pulls needlefish out of back pocket* Don’t make me do this man!

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • protoopus September 25, 2009

    >Audible low frequency waves can have wavelengths quite a bit longer than 2 ft… my mistake for saying "as long as…".

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • fr-josh September 25, 2009

    This was not funny.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • fr-josh September 25, 2009

    I was hoping for a string instrument used as a bludgeon.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • captainwasabi September 25, 2009

    Puuuuure Energy!!!

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • captainwasabi September 25, 2009

    You’re doing it right.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • william2chao September 25, 2009

    Everytime I hear that. I wish I can have a high power high frequency generator that matches his car’s winsheld.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • theunrestrained September 25, 2009

    No one can see how small their penis is through tinted windows and clothing, so they let us know with bass.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • tacoswild2 September 25, 2009

    A couple months ago two guys pulled up next to me at a stoplight. Everyone’s windows are down because it’s summer. They were about 18 and I guess they couldn’t afford much stereo gear yet because their bass was puny. I completely ignored them, staring straight ahead. I guess this bugged them, I hear the passenger say to the driver "Should I do an Oh Shit?". This plan must have been approved as a few seconds later he screams "OHHHH SHIITTTT!" out his window in a pretty pathetic attempt to scare people and get them to turn and look at him. I just shook my head. Loud bass = An Oh Shit

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Tweakers September 26, 2009

    That’s the ostensible reason. My neighbor Dijohn "Mustard Man" Willis says the real reason is to attract bullets, but this often only works good in bad places.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • berklee September 27, 2009

    I can’t speak for car stereos, but my speaker cabinet for my bass amp goes down to 26Hz (it’s got four 10" speakers)… mind you, some of that can be due to the porting, but I’d venture a guess that with the right cabinet design, it would be possible.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • jon_titor September 27, 2009

    Yeah, it definitely is possible. In an electronic music class I took in college our prof had a subwoofer that apparently went down to 16hz. We played around with how low everyone could hear. And I’m sure that there are some people that have put systems in their cars that can replicate tones that low as well. It’s just that 99.9% of people’s cars can’t.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • nikniuq September 27, 2009

    Never bring a needlefish to a marlin fight.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Greg September 28, 2009

    “They’re simply attention whores who want you to see that ‘Hey look how much money i piss away on my car.’”
    I love that comment. I live in an area with a decaying downtown, and see old, beat-up cars all the time with rims and loud bass and tinted windows and hydraulics. Why would you spend so much money on a 15 to 20 year old car?

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  • tacoswild2 September 29, 2009

    i guess these two are on reddit

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • SJ_Zero September 29, 2009

    I’ll admit, sometimes I open my windows and sunroof right up, and crank my favourite tunes. Why? Who knows? Maybe I’m secretly hoping that someone will perk up and run over and go "Oh my god! Is that MC Frontalot? I love that shit!" and I’ll make a new friend. It’s a great big world out there, sometimes I just do things to remind everyone I’m still here.

    This comment was originally posted on Reddit

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  • Online Shopping March 8, 2010

    Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?

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    • JD March 8, 2010

      Thanks, man. And sure you can – Just post a link back to my article.

      Respond
  • Kevin October 31, 2010

    I love cruising and bumping loud. My mom & dad get very mad and they tell they can hear me coming down the block considering I only have two 12″ kicker subwoofers in a typical dual sealed box and a old school punch 800a2. And the people who live across the street from me (they’re old like in there 60′s) and sometimes when I’m in the front of my house cleaning the car with the stereo running the old man came out and told to me to lower it because his windows where shaking and his old ass wife didn’t like it. And from then on I wondered why old people don’t like loud music? I mean everywhere I go in my car I have it cranked even throught the fast food resterant drive thru I’m bumping. I’m just a bass addict!

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